Tuesday, December 30, 2008

in sickness...

In light of feeling invincible, I am also apparently invulnerable. Or at least, I think I am. I choose not to be bogged down by the common cold although unhealthy eating habits and practices brought about by the holidays have finally caught up to remind me to slow down. I guess being sent home from work is a definitive sign.
And yet the spirit in me says, "I will not be defeated!"

The result --- after a few hours of resting and doing absolutely nothing....
I made spring rolls for the first time, all by myself! I was feeling nostalgic because I used to always help my mom make them. (fine, A helped a little bit with wrapping and chopping veggies )
When I ran out of the wraps, I decided to be creative with the rest of the meat and make embutido. I added some relish, hard boiled eggs and sausages to make it look authentic. Not bad for a first try, I think =)

Saturday, December 27, 2008

invincible

Yup, I've decided to go dark. I just want a change and I'm just not web savvy enough to actually create my own template. Anyway, I think it looks okay...for now. I might just retort to my original familiar looking blog.

Anyway, it's been a crazy holiday season and all I could think about is the final exam to do for an online course I'm taking. Bummer, huh? Another crazy thing that has presented itself this season: a person I might possibly know using my credit card online possibly on eBay for the last two months. I just stumbled on this one day after realizing that the credit card company still didn't send me a statement after three times of calling them and updating my address. Anyway, I finally got a hold of someone who helped me log on to their online billing system and alas! I apparently have made "paypal" purchases over the last two months costing as much as $712!

Paypal scares me. I hardly ever buy anything online except for once and a while purchases at Indigo and Sephora and I may have used a few ordering paper and envelopes for the wedding. Other than that, I'm very wary of using my credit card online. This particular credit card though is the one credit card I have never used online. In fact, I hardly ever use it because it is attached to a particular department store (which meant it had an incredibly high interest rate) and I only ever use it when I shop there to get points. Anyway, a few months back, I created a paypal account with the intention of selling on etsy. I never attached any account on it though because I'm too lazy to actually figure out how it works and plus, I haven't been able to create enough stuff to actually open a store. Which again, brings me back to the question....WHO COULD BE POSSIBLY USING MY CREDIT CARD???

The only place I could think of where I leave my belongings unattended is at work. I bring a huge bag to work and we have this unreasonably tiny lockers that has hardly enough space to fit my shoes let alone my bag, and so most of the time, I leave my bag on the floor, too lazy and trusting to fetch my tiny wallet and lock it in my locker (what is the purpose of the locker then, you might ask?!) I know, I know. I sort of brought it on myself for being lazy and stupid. But I just didn't think anyone from work would ever do anything so filthy and dishonest.

I have this thing and I guess I always choose to believe that no matter what, people are essentially good. It sounds sooo naive, I know. I mean I know fraudulent acts happen all the time but these things happen to people but not to me. Yeah yeah, talk about feeling invincible. The thing is, I should know better next time. And I hope it clears up because it would be such a drag if I have to pay for $700 worth of stuff I never even bought or used.

Where is your holiday spirit?

Thursday, December 18, 2008

paper crafts and more!

more stuff to fill up my immeasurable time!
did i mention i love cupcakes?!?


a little festive...

with cherry on top!


holiday cards!



gift packaging =)

holiday treats!
more calendar views





Tuesday, December 09, 2008

"googling"

I like that term "googling" and yes, yes, I know, it's a bad habit -- I googled myself again. It doesn't hurt anybody and by the way, I heard John Mayer, who I've just decided I have a love-and-hate relationship with, googles himself everyday to see what sort of news/dirt/gossip are out there about him. Not that I can really compare myself to him or anything; I am simply rationalizing.

I don't know why it bothers me (this referring to a certain "meantime girl" article being out there in the messy worldwide web). After all I sort of brought it to myself. I remember vaguely sending it, without my signature to a friend of mine (some friend, huh?) about a boy I was coveting at that time (in my now seemingly distant past) in hopes that I might relieve myself of the agony of unrequited love. A few years later, another friend asked about possibly contributing an article to a web e-zine called Rice Cafe (now defunct) for their "Dating/Relationship" section. I guess in a way, I wanted my voice to be heard. I wanted my meantime boy to know how I felt even if it was in fact, a long shot. And so, boldly, I hit send. (Sadly, of course, I don't think he's ever read it). And the rest is history.

Some are nice enough to give me credit (thank you). Some attempt to rewrite and add their own things (opinions, personal touches) into it (which, I do not appreciate). I mean, there was one who tried to turn the whole thing around and made it about a meantime boy (yet used the original piece word for word! can you say plagiarizing?!?) And again, I don't know why I'm so outraged, but I am.

I'm not an arrogant person. I don't want to come out of this as someone who's trying to win royalties over something that I'm not even sure is a masterpiece. I just want to be given credit where it is due. Is that too much to ask?

And maybe people who will stumble upon my new-ish blog will say, "well, how can you prove that you're really the Jan Javier who wrote this article when your new blog talks about nothing but food, rants, arts and crafts and nothing in comparison to anything anyone would ever expect?" (although, in my defence, I think cupcakes, and crafting are more interesting topics than the sad demise of my horror story of a lovelife) And the answer is......I can't. I can't prove that I wrote it. I only know that I did (sounds silly, I know.) I've had a history of creating blogs and un-creating them after writing a little bit too much about things that happened in my life. People I know, apparently are much more connected to the web as I've anticipated and I always end up being burned because of something I said (I mean, wrote) no matter how fictional and cryptic I try to make it seem.

And maybe the truth is, I am not that person anymore. Maybe the reason I was writing about my so-called lovelife was that my life then felt so unfinished that I needed to create these stories so that I'd have something to look forward to. I wanted them to remind me about people in my past that had been important to me one way or another. I am married now and finally happy and though the story does not end there, I don't feel the compulsion to rewrite what was already perfect. Oh and yes, the meantime boy is not my meantime boy anymore. He's out there now, older, wiser and finally happy with someone else. I can't end this blog post better than what Sandra said in the last scene of "While You Were Sleeping"

"Life doesn´t always turn out the way you plan."

I don't know what things could have happened had my meantime boy realized I was writing about him. I don't know if things would have worked out the way I had imagined. I only know that I am much happier now with a person who couldn't be more perfect for me. A person who had made me realize that the finest of things come to those who truly deserve it the moment it's least expected.

The tag line, "No Pressure. No Worries" was not in the original "The Meantime Girl" article but was added by the editor-in-chief of Rice Cafe. I went on to write two more articles for Rice Cafe and a few more that were never published.

updating at 4:00 am: Holy S**t!?! this website is still alive?!?? Resurrected?!? how?!? Anyway, visit it before it's gone!

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

out of..

song of the day:



And it's okay if you have go away
Oh just remember the telephone
well, they're working both ways
And if I never ever hear them ring
If nothing else I'll think the bells inside
Have finally found you someone else and that's okay
Cause I'll remember everything you sang

Cause you and I both loved
what you and I spoke of
and others just read of
and if you could see now
well I'm almost finally out of.
I'm finally out of, finally,
deedeeededede
well I'm almost finally, finally, finally out of words.
- Jason Mraz

Thanks August Empress for the cool background!